Happy FaceLift

... and it costs much less, what with anti-depressants being commercially sold worldwide!

Spark Fire

Oh my god, please Mister Ex-Landlord. I know you work as a volunteer at the Fire department, but all these messages about Fire? .... please don't set fire to my apartment?!
I WAS A GOOD TENANT!!

Speedway Cemetary

Jesus. Scare the CRAO outta us, will ya?
"Hey dad? Can I borrow the car this afternoon?"
"NO! You'll die!!"

Accidental Career

… like skydiving! or a trapeze artist! OR AN UNDERWATER ESCAPE ARTIST!!!! :0