Thursday, June 25, 2009

Patience

So, my Landlord is crazy. Here's the short story. About a year ago, I moved from the downstairs apartment to the upstairs apartment. In doing so, my landlord spent an extra 2 weeks fixing up the place after I moved in. Basically, my stuff was there, but he had occupied little corners of the apartment with his "things" ... notepads (he was apparently a volunteer fireman, in charge of ... changing the sign outside the firehall?), tupperware dishes of his lunches. Now, I always knew he was crazy, ever since I had asked about the thermostat one day and why it didn't seem to work. He told me, straight-faced of course, that the wall fixtures, like the thermostat and the light switches needed to be "Oxidated" in order for them to function properly, even going so far as to inform me he had a special can of "Oxidizing sspray" he planned to spray all the fixtures with (What, air?)
But I never knew just how crazy he was until I found, amongst the little notes to fix this or that and the soiled lunch dishes, a pill box, with anti-depressants.
After this discovery, I started to notice how frigged up his little messages on the firehall sign were. Yup, first sign I read after finding his little stash of happy pills simply stated "Enjoy Hobbies"... that's it. Nothing else. how nice. A psycho.
Anyways, this will be my attempt to capture how inspirational a depressed volunteer fireman can try to cheer up a whole community with his thoughtful messages!



Ohhhhhhh! I see what you did there, Mister Landlord! You played with the word "wait", so it would have a double meaning! DAMN you're smart!

(Well, either smart or he has an Uncle Johns bathroom Reader in the firehall washroom...)